worm fun

It's Your TV

2008-07-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

Cactus Butt

2008-05-11T23:37:00.000-07:00

Earlier today, I was doing a little bit of sweeping and cleaning out in the front yard with Chris. We often like to do some tidying inside and out on Sunday afternoons and this was what we were doing. Anyway, I was sweeping up all these little dried blossoms and yanking out weeds in this small section of our front yard by the car and garage door. I got most everything gathered together in little piles but had to get down on my hands and knees to hand collect all these camelia blooms that had fallen underneath the bush. I got most of them and made a little pile of those too. When I went to stand up, I completely lost my balance and fell backwards onto a cactus that had been sitting there for months, sort of dying in its pot.

At first, I was laughing and screaming out to Chris (who was about 10ft further down the driveway) that I had fallen on the cactus. He came running over and I turned around and he says, "Oh my god it's like a cartoon!" because I had dense little clusters of cactus needles all over the butt and leg part of my jeans. I chuckled for about one more second until I realized that I felt a prickly burning on my lower butt cheek. When I realized that the needles were not only on my pants but in my skin, I freaked out and ran into the house yelling. I threw the front door open, tore off my jeans and twisted my neck trying to see what my bare ass looked like, hoping that it was not that bad. To my horror, the needles were so tiny and light in color that I could not see them at all!

I grabbed my tweezers and yelled out the door for Chris to come and pull them all out for me. As I laid on the hardwood floor in my underwear in pain, Chris patiently tried to see the needles and pulled most all of them out. There were still a couple left to pull that he couldn't see but I could feel so I attempted to remove them myself with the aid of a hand mirror. I had some luck but didn't get every last one. Tiny red welts were forming and I just felt so annoyed and embarrassed by the whole thing. Anyway, I think that there are still a couple needles still in there but what can I really do when they aren't even visible.

Since the incident, my new nickname, thanks to Chris, has become Cactus Butt or just "CB" for short.
The plant itself was promptly thrown into the trash can.

Crying

2008-03-23T23:59:00.000-07:00

It's been a VERY long time and I feel quite guilty about not checking in. Well, not much has been going on but I did just watch a very nice documentary on Marc Jacobs and his creative process called "Marc Jacobs & Louis Vuitton" by Loic Prigent this weekend - twice. It followed him around while he worked on two collections (his own line and the one for LV), one after another, from start to finish. I have to say that it kind of made me want to cry. And I don't know if that was because the clothes and process were so fantastic and beautiful or because I was reminded once again that I spend the majority of my waking hours in front of a computer doing boring, unimportant, uncreative things at a mouse-feces infested desk. Well, whatever it was, it made me love Marc Jacobs even more and hate Sofia Coppola more as well.
On a side note, my big splurge of 2007, a pair of fuzzy MJ mouse flats, has disappeared without a trace. I had worn them ONCE and to a horrible wedding in L.A. I am convinced that they were stolen from my bag at the airport on my return from the trip. It was nice while it lasted...

Above is MJ before his bronzed and buffed makeover.

2007-11-19T03:02:00.001-08:00

Some Things I Bought and A Really Bad Wedding

2007-11-18T21:40:00.000-08:00

Obviously, I started writing this this past Tuesday and it's a late posting:

Yesterday morning Chris and I got back from our extended weekend trip to Los Angeles. The initial excuse for making the trip was to attend my cousin's wedding in Pasadena. Well, it turned out that everything but the wedding was great. I guess I've always been kind of a poopy, stinky-faced, bubble burster when it comes to things like weddings and child-bearing. Maybe I was determined to hate the entire thing the minute I found out that the bride's (my cousin was the groom) career goal was to become a wedding planner or perhaps I am envious of someone who lives in such a Disney wonderland that they see this as a legitimate life goal. Anyway, I will continue on this topic some other time...

The one thing that I was very pleased about was being able to finally visit Chinatown. There were a small number of cool little shops tucked away between souvenir shops and live chicken butchers. One I was particularly glad that I went to was Welcome Hunters, which I had found out about a while back while poking around on the web. It was a tiny store but had a worthwhile selection of what seemed to be mainly international designers. Among the pieces was an awesomely weird sweater by an Icelandic brand named Mundi. It was sort of a simplified medieval armor suit knitted up as a hoodie. Too bad I am not wealthy, I would've bought it right then and there. I did get to purchase a little something for myself - a golden rabbit head with fake diamond eyes by a Thai designer called Kloset. I wondered if rabbits were too cliche as squirrels and owls are becoming but somehow decided on it anyway.

The other highlight of my trip was going to MOCA and seeing the Cosima von Bonin show. I guess this was her first solo museum show in the U.S. and I really didn't know anything about her until I got there - in a way, that made it even better since it got me so much more excited than seeing an artist that I knew. Anyway, she is based in Germany any does quite a bit of her work with fabric including paintings and sculpture. They brought the room that she used to do a video/performance and visitors could peer into it by climbing some stairs and looking over the tops of the walls. I am not going to attempt to go into detail about her work because it is quite complicated (that is why I bought the catalog). Even with its conceptual nature, I admired the fact that it was also so aesthetically appealing and fun. On a side note, I also realized that I had been looking at one of her fabric paintings for many years now as it is the image on the cover of one of my favorite albums, The Spectrum Between by David Grubbs.

So I came back from L.A. quite satisfied (apart from the family business) and the whole weekend reconfirmed my belief that what makes it such a great art city is its kind of naive optimism and acceptance of any and all trends. It also makes me think of how depressing the "art scene" (if you can even call it that) in the Bay Area is. No place is perfect though, so perhaps its all just a bunch of trade offs.

Miserable Widget as a Sea Snail

2007-11-13T22:39:00.000-08:00

She won in the "Most Creative" category for her costume at the employee Halloween party. Unfortunately for her, the prize was a doggy seatbelt.
Thanks for being such a good sport, Widget!

Giant Sof' Boy!!!

2007-10-24T02:41:00.000-07:00

Halloween Madness

2007-10-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

I'm still here! I've been trying to remember to take some photos of my sewing projects - with little success. Since Halloween is coming up, I've been paralysed with the thought of trying to top Widget's costume from last year. I don't know if that'll ever happen but the pressure's on to at least show up with Widget dressed up for the employee Halloween costume party. There have been several trips to JoAnn Fabrics this past weekend since they were having all these blowout sales and coupons galore. JoAnn's was really jammin' with people since it's probably their busiest time. There were actually normal people there - not the usual frumpy, over-accessorized crew of crafty ladies.
Aside from the Halloween madness, I have been trying to understand how to make a simple button down shirt without having it come out all wonky. I've finished making the second one and was pretty pleased. At the moment, I am taking a break from the shirts and am attempting to make a hoodie. It looks a little wide but being able to finish everything with a serger really looks nice. We'll see what happens...

M.N.-a-pa-looza

2007-10-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

There are many bands' music that I really cannot stand. Yet, only some can be considered M.N. (in content) bands. These bands produce music that I equate on the same level as fingernails on a chalkboard. When I happen to be dialing through radio stations in the car and I come across, say The Barenaked Ladies "One Week" I instinctively scream and flail my arms trying to turn it off. Does anyone else have this reaction?

I can't even explain it but I suppose that the songs that do this to me must have something in common in terms of their structure, style and especially delivery. When I think about some bands that I really feel allergic to like, The Barenaked Ladies, Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, 311, Dave Matthews Band, Blues Traveller (to name a few at the top of the list) I do find that they have this indescribable "thing." I looked up Bone Thugs -n-Harmony on Wikipedia and found a description of their rapping style. It said, "Bone's style and technique can be described as melodic yet dark and aggressive. Their flow is often interwoven at a high speed melodic pace or slow harmonic pace." For some reason this made me laugh because it sounds so ridiculous but it is also so right on.

From this description I have deduced that it is that "aggressively melodic flow and high speed harmonies" of all the above bands that I can't stand.

There is another major group of M.N. performers that really chafe my ears and make me ask "Why?" It's the breathy, growling, yowling, verbose and MAJORLY annoying style that pretty much only exists among women performers. I am talking about Paula Cole, Alanis Morissette, Jewel, Ani Di Franco and I am sure others that are not coming to mind right now. It's kind of Lillith and is given that phony corporate "womyn" label even though it's not (except for Ani) And as if the singing of these people were not bad enough they all also do this talking/rapping thing with attitude much like in the hit single "Ironic" in which Alanis sings, "Isn't it ironic, don't cha think. A little too ironic... and yeah I really do think ...." It's that end part that just really rubs me the wrong way. Practically most of that stupid song by Paula Cole "Where Have All the Cowboys Gone" is done in that talking style as well. I must admit that I feel a little bad for ragging on these people since they are women but their crimes are so heinous they seem to overshadow their gender. Perhaps it is also because they are marketed as "women rockers" it makes it especially worse and embarrassing for people like me.

Stay tuned because I will most likely also bring up other musical styles that I find to be my total nightmare. Until then, maybe you can share with me some musical performers who create music that makes your ears want to rot and fall off your head.

M.N. Mania

2007-09-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

my nightmare \'mI - "nīt-ˌmer\ noun, adjective
1: someone (and sometimes, something) who has the ability to produce an immediate allergic feeling of disgust, nausea, anxiety, embarrassment and disdain. Usually, these reactions are produced as a result of my mind not being able to compute or comprehend the person's utter grossness. Most commonly used in acronym form as simply, "M.N."

Many times, I find that I need to create a new word or phrase to describe things that seem to have no convenient or succinct descriptor. These creations are made out of pure necessity and economy of language. One term that I came up with almost a decade ago was "M.N." an abbreviation for "my nightmare." Originally, the term was created to quickly describe men who would now be considered a sub-species of the "hipsters" (now an overused, vague mainstream expression in itself) It actually comes in quite handy as I find that many people qualify as an M.N. in my book.

There are several people who top my Ultimate M.N. List. One of them would be that totally nasty freak from The Black Eyed Peas, Taboo. What is with his flubbery cheek jowls and weird Planet of the Apes sheath hair? Furthermore, he always has to do some horrible thing with his arms and fingers like he is some sort of world music homeboy. As a whole, The Black Eyed Peas and urine-soaked Fergie are just an example of music and style gone horribly, horribly wrong. But I do have to give Taboo (and the name just makes it that much worse...) the prize for being the grossest.

A more recent major M.N. for me is that stupid eyeliner-ed poser puffy babyface, Pete Wentz. Oh my god, when I see pictures of him, I can just feel the vomit rising up my throat. The situation is made worse by the fact that he is going out with Ashlee Simpson, who thinks he is just about the punkest, coolest person on the planet. She herself, while not what I would consider a M.N., is basically a poor man's Avril Lavigne, which is quite devastating considering Avril is a mall kid in a "punk" Halloween costume.

Anyway, Pete Wentz and his oily hair must be a phenomenon that I just do not get. As if his bloated face was not bad enough, he is often posing in the most annoying ways, hands held together in prayer, duck like snarl/grin, shirtless with his repulsive above-groin tattoo exposed. I confess that I have never heard his band, Fall Out Boy's, music but I can guarantee that I will hate it and will send me over the edge. I actually need to stop talking about him because I can feel my face tightening and grimacing.

Laptop Cover

2007-09-10T12:04:00.000-07:00

Here we have my first sewing project without a pattern. It's basically a lined envelope with a little polka dot trim that I made as a laptop cover for Chris. He picked out the fabric with a little help from me and I improvised on the quilted padding. The fabric is actually from a really cute Japanese collection called Echino and from what I have seen, most of it is a lightweight canvas with various animal and graphic prints. Well, I was pretty pleased with the end result and hope to fine tune the design, should I decide to make another one.

kibble korner: the original early breakfast

2007-09-09T17:41:00.000-07:00

FB here, hi.

A quick memoir of the original early breakfast...

back in my hearst days, when I was working for every meal, you had to get up early to get the good stuff. oh sure, it was good to start with - I mean who wouldn't want an everett and jone's 2-way for breakfast? but if you missed out on that, the choices got slimmer and grimmer.

And there was competition, and it was fierce, I mean there were some real problem kats. they weren't even from the neighbohood you know? but they would just show up, ready to take what was ours. we usually stood down when we met them though, not because we were scared, but kuz we felt sorry for them (the only Breakfast Bin in their neighborhood was behind a southern Indian joint, which, inexplicably, does not cook with meat?!).

So anyway, the point is - the only reason they showed up at all as because there was something for them to show up for, and that's exactly what we eliminated. No sooner had the Everett and Jones Breakfast Bin been closed for the night, we'd have a pair of watchful eyes on it, waiting for the 'sweet spot' to open up. Always between 5:00 - 6:30 AM, the parking lot would quiet down, the sun would start to hint at rising.... and you know the rest.

-FB

Kibble Korner

2007-09-07T11:04:00.000-07:00

Who: Faben “Big Fun” Brown
What: Kibble Korner – Musings of a gormandizer.
Where: Here.
When: Sometimes.

Profile: Faben Brown (born approx. 2001-present) was born and raised in Berkeley, California. When she is not looking for her next meal or dumpster diving, she likes to spend some of her free time writing about food and food culture. She has a particular interest in kibble (coarsely ground grain and other ingredients in the form of pellets) but also loves various whole foods. Faben is the former board chair of the Hearst Feral Feline Community Association.

One More Thing...

2007-09-06T18:01:00.000-07:00

Someone who works at Jo-Ann Fabric & Crafts in Emeryville drives a BRAT!!!

Jo-Ann Fabric & Crafts, A Little Slice of Americana

2007-09-06T17:34:00.000-07:00

Most of the time, I consider myself rather lucky to have a really great fabric shop (with a not-so-great name) called Stonemountain & Daughter right in my neighborhood that will fulfill most all of my sewing needs. They are independent, have a really current array of quality fabrics and are always keeping their stock fresh. They also have a small pattern section of the store where they have the season's Vogue and Burda selections, among other smaller pattern companies. But what am I to do when I want to get the latest Built By You sewing pattern by Wendy Mullin? Well, I have to drive myself to the hideous Emeryville shopping center which is home to a Men's Wearhouse, a Lens Crafters and a Circuit City among other suburban retail gems. Unfortunately, my destination is no better than any of the aforementioned stores because it happens to be Jo-Ann Fabric & Crafts.

If you are not familiar with Jo-Anns it's basically like a fabric and pattern store with a Michael's inside of it. The entire store is a complete mess both figuratively and literally. The women who work there who usually have those sunburst wrinkles around their lips from a lifetime of smoking, look like have been working for 20 days straight and will somehow manage to "help" you in the s-l-o-w-e-s-t manner possible. So, I pray - PRAY that when I finally reach the register (because the line is always long) to make my purchases that there is nothing that does not have a price on it. If there is, the scenario is usually like this: She scans the item. Scans it again. Scans it again. Checks the register, fiddles with some random buttons. Scans it again. Attempts to enter the item manually. Doesn't work. Picks up the phone and calls the other woman at the cutting table, 30 yards away for help. The helper comes shuffling over, slowly, slowly, making her way past the Dora The Explorer flannel and fuchsia sequined stretch fabric. Her feathered mullet looks a little flat and she sighs when she finally reaches the register. She's got a magic set of manager keys and brings up the price of the tag less item. This entire process can take up to 10 minutes and that is a long time.

Anyway, one time I went there for some patterns and sat down at the pattern catalog table at the back of the store to check out the latest designs and sat down to a table of three middle-aged women and an overweight girl of about 8 or 10 years. The girl was with her mom who was sitting next to her as they paged through the Simplicity book together to find a nice outfit for school. It was quiet at the table except for the mad flipping of the pattern book pages and "Man, I Feel Like A Woman!" playing softly in the background. Occasionally, someone would scribble some notes onto the back of a grocery list and the mom would quietly mumble things like, "Hmm, that's nice." or "That might be nice for Spring." to her daughter.

Just as it was becoming uncomfortably quiet, "Brrrt!" - someone farted. It didn't take long to figure out who did it since the mom clucked her tongue in disapproval and glared at her daughter who wordlessly threw up her hands and shrugged her shoulders as if to say, "Oh well! If I gotta fart, I gotta fart! What are you gonna do?" I sat there wondering why I wanted to both laugh and cry. That's Jo-Anns for you.

Recently, I came across a story about the poor customer service at Jo-Ann Fabric & Craft that was truly, seriously unbelievable and again, made me want to simultaneously laugh and cry. The article details a blow-by-blow account of a Jo-Anns customer in Indiana who is suddenly struck by a bad case of explosive diarrhea. Of course, you must read the entire article to get the full effect of the situation but basically she is repeatedly denied use of the employee bathroom as she begins to soil her pants. Apparently, the CEO of Jo-Anns made a public apology and the private bathroom use policy has been changed to accommodate customers with emergencies. Funny how awkward moments at Jo-Anns stores often seem to involve uncontrollable digestive upset, isn't it?

Well, I am still on the Jo-Ann Fabric & Craft preferred customer mailing list and know that I will have to go back there again for a $1.99 Simplicity pattern special or a 60% off fusible interfacing blowout. Everything about this store - the bad service, slovenly employees, tubes of opened and squirted out puffy paint, selection of fake flowers and so on is so distinctly American that you know the Emeryville Jo-Anns is the same as the one in Decatur, Illinois. God bless America!

These Things For Real

2007-09-03T18:07:00.001-07:00

Ok, I am going to start with a recommendation for an online puzzle site. I had been crying and dying since my favorite Paint-By-Numbers (aka nonograms) site had suddenly disappeared - then I stumbled upon (or rather desperately searched for) another logic puzzle site. Luckily, I found my savior - Conceptis Puzzles.

If you like tedious puzzles that create weird little scenes and involve grids and numbers, then this is for you. They also feature regular (and crazy) sudoku as well. My only complaint would be that they don't release enough new puzzles every week. But I suppose that I should be happy that someone maintains this so well and that it's all free. My current fave is Link-A-Pix.

I could play this all day long. These puzzles are definitely not for people who enjoy action games. Rather, they are for people who like to make their beds with hospital corners and untagle large balls of yarn.

If you want to be REALLY boring you can print out the dot-to-dot pictures which I actually think are pretty cool.